


Human no more

by UVPartyBomb



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Gen, I gotta plan shit out man, M/M, Vampire AU, Will tag more properly as I go, also yes i go between 'Benrey' and 'Benry', dont @ me, or if I even make another chapter!, this started off as a bloody idea!, ya know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26313973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UVPartyBomb/pseuds/UVPartyBomb
Summary: Not right being sick for over a month right?Not being able to eat or sleep and not being able to stand lights of any kind, its all not right. What was going on with him? Gordon might just find out.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 9
Kudos: 97





	Human no more

Was there a start to this? 

Gordon wasn't even sure when he first got sick. At first he thought he was just experiencing a simple cold, something he could treat and forget about- yet here he was. 

Pale, had a loss of appetite, could barely get any sleep- he felt like he could barely breathe sometimes. 

So cold.. 

Shutting off the water, the scientist peered at himself in the mirror. Pulling at the dark bags under his eyes as he grimaced at his appearance. When was the last time he looked this terrible? 

After those VR Sessions? When the nightmares would strike and make him wake in a cold sweat, the events replaying in his mind even now. Did they ever end?   
Yet, now he had a bigger problem on his hands. He didn't get it though, why was it affecting him so bad? Why was it something he couldn't find anything for? The symptoms didn't add up correctly with whatever popped up and it only made his anxiety ridden brain get more anxious the further this went on.

Stress must be a big factor in this, or at least it pushed things to get worse. 

He couldn't tell anymore! 

Nothing made sense, nothing was adding up and he couldn't find a cause for any of it. 

Gordon's gaze had wandered from his reflection but it picked back up just to stare at himself again. It was like he hadn't seen the sun in years- when… was the last time he went out? When was the last time he went out with the science team? Or even saw the light of day?! 

A few weeks? 

A month? 

He couldn't recall. He just knew he had been getting worried texts from Tommy, Coomer and even Bubby.. 

Tommy had offered to come over and help him get better by making things easier for him around the house and keep an eye on his health.   
Coomer suggested that going out may help- getting some sun would do him wonders and maybe even get him checked out if things got any worse  
Bubby, while he still had a bit of attitude, he had shown his worries through the texts and even admitted he considered just coming over and dragging his ass to a doctor. 

The scientist loved them all but.. he didn't feel like any would help. 

He didn't want to burden Tommy with how sick he was getting, Going outside was a nightmare in of itself- the sun hurt his eyes and it felt like he was being cooked each time and what doctor would know what was going on with him? There was nothing that were adding up to his symptoms so what good would that do?! 

Of course, he would never say that to their faces. Just politely turning down their offers and coming up with some sort of excuse.. anything that would slide. He needed.. to figure this out himself.  
What was it that he wasn't getting though? 

He.. wasn't even sure of that himself. He knew there was something that was wrong, something that was wrong with his body, something that was wrong with him. No one to turn to in this situation.. 

A sigh escaped his lips, a sense of hopelessness dripping from it as he pushed himself away from the sink and made his way back into the hallway. 

No lights to be seen. 

It had come to the point where lights were no longer needed, at least to him. The lights always made his head swim, made it hard to focus on anything while they were on. Recently, he felt so.. at home in the dark. The darkness had become a sort of comfort while he had been ill, made him feel better, made him feel like he wasn't a weak and sickly mess like he was right now. It was like the lights made things worse or.. maybe that was only because he felt so ill and delirious and the lights only made it seem worse than it actually is. 

God he.. he didn't know anymore.

Stepping into the living room, Gordon glanced over to the kitchen, his stomach turning at the thought of getting food but he needed to eat something! Just anything! He had to take care of himself during this but his body kept wanting to reject it, even with the small meals he could keep down. 

Despite how dark it was as he turned himself over to the kitchen, he felt like he could see perfectly through the darkness. Like he could see every detail of the counter, the cupboards and the cooker, even the coffee machine and the kitchen sink. Was this just his body having heightened senses to keep him aware of things or something else? 

Either way, he was thankful as he easily got around. Lighting up the cooker, the flames being the only source of light in the entire house. It was.. oddly comforting, watching the hot flames licking at the metal stands above it. It was the only light, other than his phone light, to not make him feel disgusting. 

The next few minutes was just getting out the tools and ingredients he needed to cook with. Just for something small, maybe a bit extra for later if he could eat it. He let his thoughts wander as he cooked, thinking.. just.. thinking. 

A lot of the thoughts were of his current situation, of what was he going to do? What could he do? Was there any way to reverse this? Was he going to die? How did this happen? 

But some were of his friends, his son, his family.. what would they do? What were they going to think? Should he even tell them? How- 

"Yo Gordos"

The sudden voice caused Gordon to jump and suddenly whip around to face where the voice had come from only to come face to face with.. Benrey?? How did..

No no, he knew exactly how he got in and he wasn't even sure why he was about to question it. 

"B-benrey? Fuck man, I almost went to sock you in the face" 

Gordon's distressed tone really came through with that sentence, running his hand through his mess of a mane as he sighed. Looking over Benrey, he took notice that he was wearing one of his hoodies again along with some sweatpants and his usual helmet. Did he take that everywhere with him?

Better yet, did his eyes always glow like that?

"Haha, scared you Feetman? Fuckin er.. scaredy cat baby Gordos getting a fright from good ol' Benry? Haha!" 

It was almost nice to see Benrey's humour had never changed.

Almost.. 

Right now, he couldn't take the playful jabs and his strange humour but he didn't say anything deciding to let it slide. 

"I wasn't.. Whatever, why are you here man? It's like.. 1 am" Gordon spoke, pinching the bridge of his nose in slight annoyance. 

"Actually errr… it's fuckin 1 pm man" 

"Wait what..?" 

"Yeah bro, look-" 

"W-wait no no, Benry do-"

Too late, Benry had opened the blackout curtains letting in bright sunlight, filling half of the room with glows of gold and white already making Gordon feel sick. He had to turn away just to focus on something else so it didn't continue that feeling. 

"Yo er.. you alright man? Look like you haven't see the fuckin sun in.. ages bro, what? Are you allergic to the damn sun n-" 

"CLOSE THE CURTAINS!" Gordon yelled, cutting Benry off having caught the Xalien by surprise that he dropped the curtains from his grasps and letting them fall shut once more.

"T-thank you.. Im.. fuck, I'm sorry for yelling but.. lights have been making me feel sick just looking at them.. I.. especially the sun" 

Gordon apologised through gritted teeth, trying to focus on not throwing up there and then. The nauseous feeling welling up in his stomach and chest, threatening to spill out to the rest of his sickly body. Benrey visited at the wrong time. Whiile he loved his company, despite having a hard time understandig his humour, he liked it when he'd come over. 

Now, however, wasn't one of those times.

"Tommy said it was bad.. but I didn't think it was this bad man, fuckin.. not cool, lookin almost dead man, all pale and sick.. bro.." 

He could hear Benrey trying to keep up his usual act but he couldn't focus on it, busy taking deep breaths to relax his body and try to not empty out whatever little contents were left. 

Despite hardly eating in these past weeks, his weight had not at all changesd- if barely. 

"I'm.. I'm fine man, I'll be fine, I just got to figure this out and I'll eventually get better!" 

There was fake hope behind his words. The last thing he wanted was for him or anyone else to worry about him, especially Benrey. He didn't need to worry and he didn't want him to worry.. but it wasn't as simple as not wanting or needing anyone to worry about him. 

Compassion was a strange thing. 

"How long..?"

Benry's words took him off guard, making Gordon look back towards him with those tired eyes of his. Seeing Benry staring right back at him, the gentle glow of his eyes barely lighting up his face.

"What do you m-" 

"How long have you been like this Gordon?" 

Gordon wasn't sure what it was, but being called by his first name properly by Benrey almost made him flinch. It was weird.. he only remembered two other times that he was called 'Gordon' by Benrey. 

Once in Black Mesa, during the sessions, before the pipe they were in collapsed. 

And again when he had a horrible breakdown some time ago. 

This felt different, there was a look in his eyes that he couldn't quite decipher. It had a feeling of concern, of curiosity, desperation to know what was going on with him. Lying wasn't.. what he liked doing, he usually did it for the benefit of others and rarely did he like doing it for himself. He didn't want to lie to him.

He couldn't. Not especially when he'd catch him out of it.

"..Nearly a month, I think.." 

"A month?! Bro, why haven't you went to someone about this? Damn I'm sure as fucked Black Mesa is, they'd give you something or at least try to cure whatever you have man" 

The last line felt.. forced. Like he didn't believe that, and who could blame him for feeling that way? After what he was put through because of certain higher up in Black Mesa, no one deserved to be left for dead like that. Not even Benrey.. 

"Look man I.. nothing is coming up that has the same symptoms as me and going out makes me physically sick unless it's nighttime!" 

Gordon started, his head was full of all sorts of things. Continuously changing his focus and it hurt to think properly, it was better if he let his thoughts run wild. Especially now, he felt sick from hunger and it was only getting worse. 

Was he colder than before?

It felt like it was freezing, like the house just suddenly became a freezer but Benry seemed fine and if it had gotten that cold, wouldn't he be able to see his own breath? 

"I just.. nothing is adding up and.. I don't need anyone to feel burdened by trying to help me when I don't even know what can help me right now.." 

The scientist continued as he bit his lip, sharpened canines almost threatening to pierce the flesh from how hard he was biting it. 

In his chest, a feeling was growing, a familiar yet unrecognizable feeling was welling up and festering- almost angrily. He fidgeted with his hands idly, scratching at the skin as he grew restless. His eyes now shifting away from Benry. He knew he should be getting help for this but it didn't seem like it would help in his eyes, he could more or less function just fine even with not eating or sleeping properly. Like he almost didn't need them but in his mind, he did need them. That was how he had functioned for years, why would he not need them?   
That feeling only grew, the chill along his skin becoming ice and he felt breathless. Like he just ran a marathon, what was going on right now? 

Was Benrey talking? 

There was muffled sound, like he just lost his hearing temporarily. Everything seemed so quiet and muffled other than the sound of his heart in his chest. No.. no, that wasn't right. It wasn't his, it wouldn't be this clear to him. His gaze returned itself to Benry, he could see him talking but he wasn't sure what he was saying. It wasn't going through his head. It wasn't registering. 

All he could hear was.. his heart beating. Why was it so clear? He should've been freaking out but it brought him a sense of calmness which was being overtaken by that same feeling from before. He couldn't focus on anything else, his thoughts were subsiding and he could only stare.

The rhythmic beating.. it was so enticing. He couldn't turn his attention away from it. Why was he so stuck on that sound? Why couldn't he turn away? Why did he feel so.. hungry? 

"Gordon?? Gordon?? Hey bro, did you fuckin zone out?? Come on I'm trying to talk to y-" 

Benry stopped, a look of confusion on his face as he stared right back at Gordon. Something wasn't right. Something clearly wasn't right and it wasn't human either. Something wasn't right with Gordon and whatever this sickness he had was, it wasn't anything human. Just by quietly observing Freeman, it was easy to notice how breathless he seemed. His eyes seemed so focused like a predator looking at its prey. They also weren't green anymore, they had started shifting into a almost shiny ruby red- and he could see fangs peeking out from under his upper lip. 

"Yo er.. Feetman, you aren't lookin so.. human there, maybe we should get you to b- OH SHI-" 

The shout he gave out as Gordon suddenly tackled him down to the ground, making barely a sound as his back hit it. Man, he was so glad physical pain was dulled so much. But right now, he had to focus on Gordon and his sudden change in behaviour. 

He held the man above him by his shoulders, pushing to keep him away as Gordon bared his fangs and hissed, desperately trying to get to Benry. This was some freaky shit and Benry wasn't even sure how the fuck to deal with this! He could feel his arms shake subtly under Gordon's weight. 

He was heavier, taller and stronger than he was normally and if he wanted to get out of this he'd need to shapeshift or maybe no clip out of this but he needed to figure out a way to keep Gordon from trying to get at anyone else like this. 

Maybe he co- 

"Agh!-" 

Benry gasped in pain, distracting him as a arm gave way which gave Gordon the perfect moment to lunge right for the clear path to Benry's neck, sinking his fangs into his pale skin and making the Xalien let out a small squeak. Gordon was.. biting him.. he was biting him! He was biting him and drinking his blood! 

Wait so.. 

Oh.

Ohhh. 

That explained it. 

If this was some other weirdo, Benry would've knocked them off and peaced out there and then but this was Gordon. It seemed that, in his current state, drinking his blood was bringing some colour back to his skin. Maybe he should let him go as long as he needed, wasn't like losing a bit of blood was gonna kill him. 

His gaze fell on Gordon as he greedily drank away, going for as long as he needed only to eventually pull away. Gasping for air from how long he went without breathing, blood covering his lips and his teeth. Subconsciously licking it away with his tongue. 

To think his crush would end up like this. Not at all expected but an interesting turn of events either way, at least Gordon wasn't the only human of the science team now. 

"Yo errr.. fuckin.. feetman, you good bro? Just took a fuckin err.. meal out of my blood bro, gordos.. greedman, a fuckin lil greedy boy, could've just asked man" 

Benry wasn't sure if this was just how he was actually reacting or just making light of the situation by making jabs at Gordon for what just happened. An almost done look came to his face when Gordon just looked down at him in a daze, as if he just came back to his senses. 

Oh hey, his eyes turned back to green. Cool.

"Huh..? What did.. you say?" Gordon asked, his brain slowly catching up with what just happened. His eyes shifting from one point to another, from them being on the floor with Freeman on top, to the bite mark he left, which was somewhat bleeding still, and the metallic taste in his mouth in which it hit him like a truck. A sudden feeling of shock and fear washing over him. 

What the fuck?

"Yo Feetman?" 

"I.. yeah..?" 

"Food is on fire" 

"Wait wh- OH FUCK" 

Gordon stumbled up to his feet as he quickly turned off the heat, getting a pan lid onto the pan to smother the fire from any oxygen, trying not to add more onto it and soon enough the fire died. The food he was cooking, burnt to a crisp and basically charcoal. 

"... Can't believe I almost caused a house fire.." He started before turning back to Benrey and the weight of it all really hit him. "I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT TO YOU MAN!" 

"Fuck man, chill it's just a little blood, not like you were intentionally trying to rip my throat out. Not like it would've mattered, just come back like normal" 

"Just a little blood? Ben I'm pretty sure I just took a good meal's worth of blood from you!" 

Gordon retaliated before taking a breath and slowly letting it out. He just needed to stay calm, Benrey was calm so he should be calm. There was weirder shit that he had witnessed and experienced, like Bubby being a pyrokinetic perfect scientist clone or Benrey being a Xen Alien king and even Tommy being an eldritch being and being a son of another eldritch being! There was weirder shit he could be focused on than.. 

..being turned into a vampire. 

It would.. make sense now that he was thinking about it though.

His complex getting pale, his lack of want to eat, being unable to sleep at all, the strange changes from the slight fangs and the perfect night vision. Hell the sensitivity to the sun should have been the big hint! 

How did he not add that up before? 

Benry felt at the bite mark left at the base of his neck, the moisture of the blood immediately being recognizable as he pulled it back and tutted over the blue smear on his fingers. It wasn't too bad and his body healed fairly quickly, no big deal. Besides, he could just use this against Gordon- not as a malicious thing.. just to make fun of him a bit. 

"Didn't think you were into some kinky shit like blood play bro" The guard commented, getting an immediate reaction from Gordon in a form of stammers and fidgeting before he resorted to shouting. The tone filled with embarrassment and a slight crack to his voice causing him to stumble on his words, it was kinda funny and cute.. seeing him getting embarrassed over something he was joking about. Pushing himself up to sit, he gave a grin and a chuckle that Gordon would be more than familiar with as he rested his elbow against his knee and then rested his head against his hand. Smile ever present. 

"Haha you're so easy to get bro, it's pretty funny" 

"Mhhhnn Shut upppp! Benrey, This isn't the time for your humour!" Gordon started trying not to think about Benrey's comment as he huffed in frustration. "I've been sick for a month and it has turned me into a vampire and I just drank your blood! I-" he stopped altogether, he wasn't being calm but it was hard to be in this situation. He was just turned into a vampire, that was something that he knew now and it answered a lot of his questions! If anyone else had come over that wasn't Benrey or the rest of the science team then he most likely would've accidently killed them. 

That would've been the worse case scenario.

Maybe he should be glad it was just Benrey. It wasn't like he could kill him easily, as much as he would hate to hurt him or anyone of the science team. 

Benry gave a shrug as he let out a low hum, sweet voice slipping between his teeth. Glowing a soft white as it raised up and eventually dispersed into the air. 

"wh..what does that one.. mean?" 

Gordon's eyes never left the almost bubble like orbs until their form shifted and fell apart in the air. 

Dull yellow yet glowing eyes shifted up at the sweet voice that would rise in front of Benry's face, humming again as a few more bubbles of the tune escaped him and rose above his head. 

"White means It's alright" 

Benry replied as he directed his gaze back to Gordon, getting himself back up to his feet and looking up at Gordon as his eyes drifted down to his mouth. Raising his hand up to it, resting his hand against his face. Freeman's body tensing up before he relaxed. Breath almost held, eyes wandering over Benry and what he was doing, hands fidgeting- picking at his nails and the skin at the sides of his fingers.

The guard slowly raised the skin of Gordon's upper lip, just getting a peek at those new fangs before the taller man stepped away. A nervous laugh slipping from him before he cleared his throat and moved away. Leaving Benry where he stood. 

"Well em.. if that.. drink.. helped with how sick I was feeling, let's see if.." Gordon's words were just barely above a mutter as he moved to a light switch, flicking it on, filling the room with light once more after so long, fluorescent light shining from the light bulb above. The newly formed vampire's eyes easily adjusted to the new light that shoved away the darkness. 

He..

He wasn't feeling sick. 

He didn't feel gross, didn't feel his stomach turn like it usually did the past few weeks, didn't have that burning feeling in his eyes every time even a ray of light would make contact with them. 

It was almost relieving. 

Almost.

There was still.. the whole thing about being a vampire now. 

Question was.. how would the sun affect him now? 

There were many ways from what he could think of that it could do to him. He saw his fair share of interpretations through movies and myths. 

One could be completely ignored. For very good reason. 

Did he want to take that chance right now however? No, No he didn't. The thought of even walking out right now filled him with anxiety, a worry that he'll actually burn up upon stepping out in the sun. That wouldn't be so good.. 

"Feetman." 

Benrey's voice snapped him out of his thoughts again, shit when did he zone out?   
He really needed to stop doing that, especially with other people here. Even if it was Benrey. 

"Please stop calling me that man.." 

Groaning, Gordon turned his head back to Benrey, raising a eyebrow at him about what he wanted. 

"Haha you didn't seem bothered the last few times I called you it brooo" 

Snickering, Benry grinned but he then lost it as he continued on with what he wanted to say. Words weren't his strong suit but hell, he used to be human so he still at least knew how to interact with them. 

"Gonna be okay man? You know with the whole errr.. vampire thing you got going on now, fuckin.. red eyes suit you bro.. all fuckin.. glowy and shit" 

"I.. yeah, Yeah em.. I just need to figure things out, see what my limits are" 

He wasn't wrong on that. 

Gordon wasn't sure what he could handle and what he couldn't. Did he need to eat anymore? How much sun could he handle? How often would he need to drink blood and how much? What did his new state bring to the table? 

All questions that he would eventually answer for himself in time. 

Question was.. 

How were the rest of the science team going to react to this? 

A question that would rattle in his brain til he finally tells them. 

"Hey Ben I-" 

Gordon's voice ceased the moment that Benry was no where to be seen, squinting as he looked around the room to see no sight of him. 

Did he fuck off? 

Typical..


End file.
